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HOPE IN THE FACE OF SUICIDE!
It is
shortly before noon on a Friday as I write
this. I am in my office looking at a poem
and a letter that was sent to me by a
young wife whose husband, Greg, had just
committed suicide. The poem-written by the
husband-reflects both despair and
hopelessness. The letter-written by the
surviving spouse-reflects a hope and
confidence that only Jesus can provide.
Greg was not alone in his desire to escape
the pain that is a very real part of
living in 1996. Suicide is North America's
second greatest teenage killer. According
to the United States National Institute of
Mental Health, eighteen teenagers per day
kill themselves. In addition to this,
reliable sources now say that over a
thousand teenagers try unsuccessfully to
kill themselves every twenty-four hours!
It is
also true that suicide rates are rising
among other age groups as well, especially
the elderly. The evil antics of
Dr.Kevorkian has brought this truth home
to us as we hear time and time again of
him assisting another person in their
pursuit of death. We are now hearing it
said that one of our rights as Americans
is the right to kill ourselves. Some are
even suggesting that assisted suicides
should be a medical procedure that is
covered by Medicare and Medicaid.
The
"quiet epidemic" of suicide is
attracting much attention today in
religious circles. It seems as if the
church is becoming somewhat more tolerant
and less condemning. However, in my
opinion, this is just another example of
our culture driving the church rather than
the church directing the culture. The
church, in many instances, is no longer a
voice but rather an echo. When the body of
Christ gives up the ethical higher ground,
it then ceases to have anything relevant
to say to society. As a result, people
kill themselves thinking it to be a right
rather than a sin. It is a privilege that
goes with being an American rather than an
affront against a Holy God and His Word.
The Old
Testament records a number of suicides:
Abimelech had his armorbearer slay him
with a sword; Samson destroyed himself
along with the Philistines; King Saul and
his armorbearer both fell on their own
swords; and Ahithophel hung himself. The
only recorded suicide in the New Testament
is of Judas hanging himself after
betraying Jesus. The sad but tragic truth
is, suicide is no respector of income or
social status. It can happen to anyone--as
seen here--including the king. Most
persons at some time in their lives feel
suicidal.
While I
hate suicide with a passion, I am not
blind to the forces that can drive someone
to take such drastic action. I have talked
to several people who had just overdosed
on pills or who had tried in some other
like manner to end it all. I have also
arrived on the scene too late to help the
one who was "crying out for
help." Whether they really intended
to do it or not is beside the point; they
did do it--forever! Then, too, I have
talked to the survivors. I have read the
notes--or the poems. Again, I have a real
feel for the pain that drives someone to
commit this terrible act of desperation. I
find it hard to judge. I know that but for
the grace of God....
Let me
now give you a list of things most
suicidal people tell themselves:
1. I am
hurting real bad. Nothing, even death can
be worse than this.
2. The
only thing that I want is relief, and I
want it now!
3. My
pain is the only thing that I can think
about.
4. My
only hope for relief is the sleep of
death.
5. I
wish that there was some other answer so I
could live.
6. I
feel so all alone; so hopeless.
7.
Whatever happens to me after I die has to
be better than what I am going though now.
I am already in hell.
8. My
family and friends will get over it in
time. I am not all that important.
9. If
there is a God, I know He will understand.
He is supposed to be a God of love.
10. It
is not all that important to me whether or
not this act is a sin.
These
are sad and tragic statements.
Let's
now look at the sin issue. Personally, I
think suicide is a grave sin. Let me give
you a list of reasons why:
1. The
church has maintained since the earliest
centuries that life belongs to God, and
only God can terminate it. Job said,
"Man's days are determined; you have
decreed the number of his months and have
set limits he cannot exceed." (Job
14:5 NIV) Solomon likewise noted,
"There is a time for everything, a
time to be born and a time to
die...." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 NIV)
When suicide is the result of deliberate
and responsible choice, it is the physical
counterpart to spiritual rebellion against
God. It is a dramatic testimony of one's
rejection of the role assigned to God.
2.
Augustine saw suicide as morally wrong
because it precluded the opportunity of
repenting of this as well as other sins.
3.
Suicide is a violation of the commandment
"Thou shall not kill." Suicide
is self- inflicted murder.
4.
Jesus said, "He who endues to the end
shall be saved." Suicide certainly
violates this principle.
5. The
Apostle Paul noted that "whatever is
not of faith is sin." Suicide is a
major violation of faith. It is the
ultimate confession that things are not
going to get any better. It is
hopelessness carried to an extreme.
6.
Suicide is a sin against the community.
Who knows what good might have come from
the individual's life had it been lived
out to it's predetermined end?
7.
Suicide is a sin against the family. Those
that are left behind go though intense and
long lasting suffering. It is especially
difficult for children of the deceased who
carry the stigma left by the suicide of a
parent throughout their lives.
8.
Suicide is selfish; in fact, I do not know
of a more selfish act than this.
9.
Suicide can be contagious. Others,
especially teenagers, seem to follow the
deceased person's lead. His or her despair
only adds to theirs.
10. It
prevents God's plans and purposes for the
person's life from coming to pass.
Jeremiah 29:11 promises, "'For I know
the plans I have for you,' declares the
LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future."
The
next logical query then has to be, is
every one that commits suicide
automatically lost? This is obviously not
an easy question. While I do not like
their chances of making heaven, I am also
very hesitant in giving a flat
"yes" or "no." I
refuse to take the position of judge. What
about those who have lost their minds due
to some sort of physical or mental pain?
How about those who are being tortured for
their faith and rather than give in, they
take their lives? What about an elderly
Alzheimer's patient who does not fully
comprehend his or her actions or a small
child that is trying to get even with mom
or dad? See my point? I heard of a lady
recently that decided to end it all. She
overdosed on pills. After she reconsidered
her actions, she called 911. By the time
the ambulance arrived, she had already
passed away. She had time to call for
help; did she not have time to call on the
name of the Lord and thus be saved?
Abraham once noted that "The Judge of
all the earth will do right."
(Genesis 18:25) He will. I am much more
comfortable with God being in that
position; aren't you?
I find
that I have enough to do in trying to get
people to heaven without having to take on
the additional responsibility of assigning
them to hell. Our job as Christians is not
to judge, but rather to try to convince
the suicidal person that he or she is
loved, important, and that things can and
will get better. Promise him or her that
you will do whatever is necessary to help
turn things around. Commit yourself to be
there. Let the individual feel your love.
Listen. Pray for the man or the
woman--daily.
Most
pastors today have been trained to deal
with people who are thinking about
suicide. Many also have excellent
counseling ministries. Try to direct the
individual to someone who can help with
the deeper issues that are at hand. Again,
the suicidal person probably thinks that
taking his or her life is the only option.
As caring people, our job is to convince
the individual that other options, better
options, are out there. That will take an
investment of both time and energy. If you
show the man or woman that at least to
you, he or she is worth such an
expenditure, it might just convince the
person that the situation isn’t so
hopeless after all.
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