TEMPTATION
AND INFIDELITY
Part 1
The following is a true
story. "Our train rolled into Kansas
City at 1 a.m. Dim lights came on to help
the new passengers find seats. Many of us
who had been riding home through the night
had spread out to occupy two seats apiece.
An attractive woman made
her way down the aisle with her bags. She
was looking from side to side, hoping for
someone to move. I turned toward the
window and watched her in the reflection.
‘May I sit
here?’ she asked.
‘Sure.’ I looked up
and smiled as I moved over. She threw her
things into the rack above and sat down.
Near the back of the car, only one of my
colleagues from the church had managed to
keep his extra space. ‘Lucky guy’.
‘My name's Kathy. What's
yours?’
I told her, and we talked
quietly for a while. She was on her way to
visit her mother after some rough spats
with her husband. I was eager to get home
and see my wife and family after an
exhausting church leadership conference.
Soon we
both slipped off to sleep. At some later
stop, I awoke to find Kathy cuddled next
to me. 'You don't mind if I lean my head
on your shoulder, do you?' she said
sleepily.
‘Uh, no. I guess not.'
She was just tired... wasn't she? And
besides, I had a wonderful wife and a
great marriage and would be home before
noon. I looked around to see if anyone was
noticing.
She cuddled closer. I
wondered what she really
wanted‑‑or would allow. At
first I couldn't believe what I was
thinking. But then it was her fault. She
knew exactly what she was doing. I might
as well enjoy it. After all, what could
happen on a train full of people? Nothing,
nothing really... except what Jesus warned
about happening in the heart.
Finally, I excused myself
so I could go back and talk with my
friend‑‑the ‘lucky’ one
with the empty seat beside him. Or maybe I
was the lucky one since that extra space
was still available. I only knew I didn't
need to stay where I had been.
Perhaps
it wasn't luck at all. Maybe that was the
"way of escape" that 1
Corinthians 10:13 talks about, which God
had provided from the beginning."
Long, long ago, God
erected a sign. It says, "Don't
commit acts of immorality. Don't do it; in
fact, don't even think about it!"
Then too, He added, don't let yourself
want “your neighbor's wife, male or
female servant” (The New
Living Translation).
This morning, as I
continue on with my series of messages on
temptation, I want to spend some time
looking at temptation and infidelity. To
be honest, a series on temptation would
lack credibility in today's culture if it
didn't cover such a topic as this.
THIS PAST WEEK'S
NEWS HAS FOCUSED ON SUCH PEOPLE AS:
Congressman Gary Condit
who made a rare public appearance in
Washington on Monday, after weeks of
seeking refuge from the deluge of media
attention that has overwhelmed him since
Chandra Levy's mysterious disappearance.
The married Condit has had at least three
extra‑marital affairs.
Barbara Walter who had one
of her highest rated interview specials in
several years as she talked candidly with
actress Ann Heche. Heche who recently
married a cameraman was the one‑time
lover of Ellen ‘Degenerate’. Heche now
claims that she was crazy during the time
that she was a lesbian.
Notorious California child molester Theodore Frank
who died of an apparent heart attack at
the age of 65. Frank died on death row as
an inmate of San Quentin State Prison. The
child molester was twice sentenced to
death for torturing, raping and killing a
2‑year‑old girl. Frank's
personal diary contained accounts of his
molesting more than 100 children over 20
years.
Sex has not left the front page simply because Bill
Clinton left office.
A while back the USA TODAY newspaper had as
it's front page cover story an article
entitled: "Sex on the internet. Sex,
sex, sex, sex..." Our world seems to
have an insatiable appetite for anything
that has to do with sex. Sex sells. Sex
entertains. Sex captures our attention as
few other things can and do.
Think with me now for a moment about television.
Virtually every program – including the
news -- is riddled with immorality,
seduction, as well as varying amounts of
nudity. And you know what? Hollywood has
made it all appear so romantic, exciting,
fulfilling, and yes even funny. The image
makers surround sex with laughter,
beautiful music, and lavish sittings. At
the same time, they carefully airbrush
away the inevitable shame, deceit,
betrayal, and ugliness.
Then, too:
·
listen to the music that is out there.
·
Look at the covers of the magazines at the checkout
counters, as well as
·
the books at the book stands.
·
Listen to the conversations that take place during
break time and over the lunch hour. Again,
sex is everywhere!
A recent article in the Wall
Street Journal reported that there are
close to 200,000 porn sites on the
Internet. The Washington
Times reports
that pornography has indeed become big
business. America spends $11 billion
annually on porn, compared with a mere
$1.2 billion on fundraising for both
political parties combined.
In addition, America is currently dealing with such
sexuality issues as: abortion,
homosexuality, birth control, pornography,
premarital sex, sex‑education,
sexual child abuse, violence against
women, differences over the role of men
and women in the work place, in schools,
churches, and the military.... The list
goes on and on.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL TEMPTATION?
Let me repeat a story I told in the second message
in this series. An old priest was asked by
a young man, "Father, when will I
cease to be bothered by the sins of the
flesh?" The older gentleman replied:
"I wouldn't trust myself, my son,
until I was dead three days!"
Speaking of Catholics, a young priest was serving in
a confessional booth for the first time.
As is usually the case for a novice, an
older priest was listening in to see how
the young man was getting along. At the
end of the day, the elder priest took the
green-horn aside and said, "When a
person finishes confession, you've got to
say something other than "WOW!"
I would say that that was some good
advice, agreed?
Just to be honest, there have been a few times in my
office that I have been tempted to say
“wow” myself.
So, again, how does one deal with this matter of
sexual temptation? I want to give you a
number of important points, some of which
will spill over into next week's message.
1.
UNDERSTAND, NO ONE IS COMPLETELY
IMMUNE TO THIS TEMPTATION
You
aren't. I'm not. None of us are. We can
usually get away from such things as
alcohol and drugs, if we really want to.
However, it is a whole lot harder to
completely remove oneself from the lure of
immorality. Jesus said that it springs
forth out of one's own heart. In other
words, the potential is always there,
within each and everyone of us.
Think back over the last number of years. How many
people do you know of that has gotten
caught up in some sexual scandal? The list
of names would make up a virtual
"Whose Who" of politics, the
arts, religion, and sports.
We can even find tales of sexual failure in
Scripture:
·
The biblical King David failed here, as did
·
Noah,
·
Judah,
·
The wise Solomon,
·
Lot's two daughters,
·
The strong Samson,
·
The Woman at the Well,
And many others.
If I were to take a poll of the men that you admire
the most today, I am confident that Dr.
James Dobson of Focus On The Family
would score pretty high on most of our
lists. Nonetheless, even Dr. Dobson has
had to deal with sexual temptation. Listen
to his story: "Shirley and I had been
married just a few years when we had a
minor fuss. It was no big deal, but we
both were pretty agitated at the time. I
got in the car and drove around for about
an hour to cool off. When I was on the way
home, a very attractive girl drove up
beside me in her car and smiled. She was
obviously flirting with me. Then she
slowed down, looked back and turned on to
a side street. I knew she was inviting me
to follow her. I didn't take the bait. I
just went on home and made up with
Shirley. But I thought later about how
vicious Satan had been to take advantage
of the momentary conflict between us. The
Scripture refers to the devil as 'a
roaring lion looking for someone to
devour' (1 Peter 5:8). I can see how
true that description really is. He knew
his best opportunity to damage our
marriage was during that hour or two when
we were irritated with each other."
Notice now these troubling statistics:
·
Surveys as to the incidence of infidelity in a
marriage vary. One survey reveals that
over half of the married women and nearly
three‑quarters of the married men
have engaged in at least one extramarital
affair. This comes from an article
entitled "After All, Maybe It's
Biology" by Helen Fisher in Psychology
Today.
·
Another such survey states that two‑thirds of
all married men will commit adultery
sometime during their marriages.
·
Tim Stafford wrote in his The Sexual Christian,
that twenty‑three percent of those
in the church ADMIT to having been
unfaithful to their marriage partner.
Anyway
you slice it, the problem is huge.
Understand this,
Satan never plays fair. His evil forces
keep an eye open for every opportunity to
tempt us such as when we have been
involved in behavior that he knows will
weaken our Christian faith, when we are
emotionally depleted, mentally tired, or
overwhelmed from battle fatigue.
I will never forget the day as long as I live when a
lady in my congregation called me with the
news that Jimmy Swaggart had been caught
with a New Orleans prostitute. Just this
past Friday I saw his name used in
ridicule by a sports reporter in a
national newspaper. Again, the point is,
none of us are immune from this evil
temptation.
1 Corinthians 10: 12 warns, “So, if you think
you are standing firm, be careful that you
don't fall.” That advice is open
ended. It applies to each and every one of
us here this morning.
2.
COUNT THE COST "THE TRUE
COST" OF IMMORALITY
I
heard once about a counselor who drew up a
list of consequences that he would have to
endure should he ever give in to sexual
temptation. I like his list. I want to
share it with you:
·
I will grieve the One who redeemed me.
·
I will drag His sacred name through the mud.
·
I will have to look Jesus in the eye one day and
give an account of my actions.
·
I will inflict untold hurt on my wife, who is my
best friend and who has been faithful to
me.
·
I will lose my wife's respect, love, and trust.
·
I will hurt my beloved daughters.
·
I will destroy my example and credibility.
·
I might lose my wife and children forever.
·
I will shame my family.
·
I will lose my own self‑respect. (Though God
could forgive me, could I forgive myself?)
·
I could form memories and flashbacks that plague
future intimacy with my spouse.
·
I could reap the consequences of diseases.
·
I could cause a pregnancy that would be a lifelong
reminder of my sin.
·
I could invoke lifelong shame and embarrassment on
myself.
What a wise man. In
looking at the "deal" Satan was
offering, he truly considered the total
cost including the long‑term payment
plan. He determined the penalty of
unfaithfulness was simply too high for him
to pay.
I want now briefly focus on seven areas of
consequence or cost that surround sexual
sin:
1.
WHEN WE ENGAGE IN SEXUAL SINS, WE
JOIN JESUS CHRIST WITH THAT EVIL
RELATIONSHIP
“Now you are the body of Christ...” (1 Corinthians 12:27). We
represent Jesus here on this earth. Our
name, our lives, our testimony are all
linked to Him. When we commit a sexual
sin, we drag His name and person into that
sin. One writer noted in this regard,
"We link the Holy Son of God with a
harlot.
2.
PAUL NOTED THAT WHEN WE SIN
IMMORALLY, WE SIN AGAINST OUR OWN BODY
Not only do we defile the Lord's body, we also defile our own flesh. This
is one reason why sexual immorality is called uncleanness and pollution. I
personally believe that this is one of the
reasons that sexually transmitted diseases
carry the stigma that they do. They are
dirty diseases.
3.
WHEN WE COMMIT SINS OF IMMORALITY,
WE BECOME ONE WITH THE PROSTITUTE
We
are no better than him or her. We share
equal shame as well as equal guilt. Notice
1 Corinthians 6:16 with me from The
Living Bible: “And don't you know
that if a man joins himself to a
prostitute she becomes a part of him and
he becomes a part of her? For God tells us
in the Scripture that in his sight the two
become one person....”
The
Greek word that is translated
"prostitute" here is "porne"
from which we get our word pornography.
One of my Greek dictionaries gives its
meaning as "a woman who sells her
body for sexual uses. Any woman indulging
in unlawful sexual intercourse, whether
for gain or for lust.”
If
you join yourself with such a woman, you
become one with her in the sight of the
Lord! If she is a harlot, you become a
harlot with her. If she is a prostitute,
you become a prostitute in the sight of
the Lord with her. If she is an adulterer,
either for gain or out of lust, then you
share in her guilt! Brothers, there is no
room in Scripture for us to take an
attitude of moral superiority over the
ladies in this sin. There is plenty of
guilt to go around.
4. IT IS A SIN AGAINST
THE CHURCH
Because,
again we are one in the body of Christ,
when we engage in sexual immorality, we
sin against the whole church.
If you want to inflict real harm on this church. If you want to taint the
good name of the others
that attend here, then get caught up in some sexual sin. You will only
provide additional fodder for those who
live off of the excuse, “there are to
many hypocrites in the church."
5. It
IS A SIN AGAINST THE CHILDREN
When the teenagers in the church see their parents, their leaders, grown
men and women struggle and fall in this
area, it makes them all the more
vulnerable here. If we can't handle and
win over sexual temptation, how in the
world can they hope to be victorious?
Dr. Frank Pittman wrote in his book, Private
Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of
Intimacy. "The traumas of
infidelity... are hardest on adolescents,
who are sexually supercharged, and
alternately delighted and terrified by
sex. A parent's inability to maintain
sexual control can be frightening,
stimulating, and permissive."
One Christian mother, knowing this wrote herself a note which she
attached to a corner of the bulletin board
above her desk. The message said: “Lord,
let there be at least two people in this
world that my children can respect as
Christian examples "their father and
me."
6.
IT IS A SIN AGAINST THE SPOUSE
Dr. Charles L. Allen, pastor and counselor, wrote: "Two things must
exist in a marriage: First, a solid
affection, a love for each other entirely
different from the love for anyone else.
Second, complete trust in each
other." That trust is seriously
compromised if not destroyed whenever
infidelity invades a marriage. Can that
trust be restored? Yes, but don't expect
it to happen overnight. It won't. It
can't.
Immorality not only attacks the spouse's level of trust, it attacks
nearly every area of his or her life:
·
The home,
·
finances,
·
jobs,
·
church,
·
parents,
·
children,
·
in‑laws,
·
holidays,
·
pictures,
·
future plans,
·
ministries,
·
friends,
·
security and more!
It is a betrayal of love, trust, hope. She or
he can not just write it off as if it
never happened! Infidelity therefore
greatly increases the likelihood of
divorce.
7.
IT IS A SIN AGAINST GOD
Listen now to what has to be one of the saddest passages of Scripture
found anywhere in the Bible. The scene is
captured in 2 Samuel 12:7‑14. Here
the Prophet Nathan rebukes David for his
adulterous sin with Uriah's wife Bathsheba.
The Bible says: “Then Nathan said to
David, ‘You are that man!’ The Lord,
the God of Israel, says, 'I anointed you
king of Israel and saved you from the
power of Saul. I gave you his house and
his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and
Judah. And if that had not been enough, I
would have given you much, much more. Why,
then, have you despised the word of the
Lord and done this horrible deed? For you
have murdered Uriah and stolen his wife.
From this time on, the sword will be a
constant threat to your family, because
you have despised me by taking Uriah's
wife to be your own. 12 You did it
secretly, but I will do this to you openly
in the sight of all Israel.' 14 You have
given the enemies of the Lord great
opportunity to despise and blaspheme
him...”
David acknowledged his sin in Psalm 51:4 and cried, “Against you,
you only, have I sinned and done what is
evil in your sight.” Friends, sin
is a clinched fist and it’s object is
the face of God!
Someone once pointed out, it will be our love
for God alone that will ‑‑ in
the end ‑‑ keep us from
failing into sexual sin. If we do not have
a love for God that is greater than the
intensity of our temptation, we will give
in. Think about it
Not only is sexual sin a
sin against God, this is also a sin that
He pointedly condemns:
·
He condemns adultery (unfaithfulness on the part of
one who is married);
·
He condemns fornication (sexual activity before
marriage, between singles),
·
He condemns homosexuality (sexual activity between
members of the same sex).
Notice:
·
Deuteronomy 5:18 and Exodus 20:14 both cite adultery
as being a violation of God's law.
·
Proverbs 2:17‑19 teaches that the adulteress
leads one down the path to death.
·
Galatians 5:19 calls immorality a work of the flesh.
·
I Corinthians 5 calls the church to remove a certain
immoral man from the fellowship.
I Corinthians 6:9‑10
likewise declares that this sin can result
in one being barred from the Kingdom of
God. Listen: “Did you not know that
the unrighteous shall not inherit the
kingdom of God? Do not be deceived;
neither fornicators, or idolaters, nor
adulterers, nor effeminate, nor
homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the
covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor
swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of
God.”
Hebrews 13:4 notes: “Let
marriage be held in honor among all, and
let the marriage bed be undefiled; for
fornicators and adulterers God will
judge.”
Revelation 21:8 then
details those who miss heaven: “But
for the cowardly and unbelieving and
abominable and murderers and immoral
persons and sorcerers and idolaters and
all liars, their part will be in the lake
that burns with fire and brimstone, which
is the second death.”
The Bible in Ephesians 5
teaches us that the love that a man has
for his wife, a woman has for her husband,
is to serve as a model of God's love for
His church – His bride. Immorality
distorts that message!
·
God is faithful;
·
God loves unconditionally;
·
God is good;
·
God is kind;
·
God is true;
·
God is pure.
Therefore
a husband and wife:
·
Are to be faithful;
·
Are to love unconditionally;
·
Are to be good;
·
Are to be kind;
·
Are to be true;
·
Are to be pure.
Immorality violates each
of these virtues. Again, It sends the
wrong message.
Malachi 2:13-15
(The Contemporary English Version): “And
what else are you doing? You cry noisily
and flood the LORD's altar with your
tears, because he isn't pleased with your
offerings and refuses to accept them. And
why isn't God pleased? It's because he
knows that each of you men has been
unfaithful to the wife you married when
you were young. You promised that she
would be your partner, but now you have
broken that promise.... Don't ever be
unfaithful to your wife.” Are you
too experiencing spiritual leanness as
were these Israelites? If so, could there
be some unresolved moral issues in your
life? He hates the sin enough that He
could choose to close His ears to your
cries and His eyes to their tears as He
did here in Malachi.
HEAR ME PLEASE. I DO NOT THINK THAT I CAN NECESSARILY STOP SOMEONE FROM
YIELDING TO SEXUAL TEMPTATION BY MY SAYING
DON'T DO IT.
God has already said that. If His Word won't cause
people to refrain from such actions, I
know that my words won't cut it either.
However, I do draw strength in knowing
that at least I have spoken up. I have
raised my voice as the pastor of this
church against impurity and immorality. I
have told our young people that it isn't
right, regardless of whose doing what, and
regardless of what the world says.
I have watched
during my lifetime as one taboo after
another has fallen prey to our liberal
culture:
IT USED TO BE that church people
wouldn't think of going to a movie, now we
bring soft and hard porn movies right into
our homes and think nothing of it. I've
heard of so-called Christian dads who
watch the stuff right in front of his
children.
IT USED TO BE that homosexuality
was considered a perversion. Polite people
didn't even talk about the vice. Now the
debate is over whether or not gays should
be able to adopt children, get married,
and be ordained into the ministry of
certain denominations. Gays are even
accepted as having entertainment value on
television.
IT USED TO BE
that the marriage vows were considered
sacred and a man and woman married for
life. Now we engage in what is commonly
called trial marriages. If our partner
does not make us happy, or if he or she
does not meet our needs, then we discard
them in favor of some other pretty face.
If a marriage lasts five to seven years,
that is now considered an accomplishment.
IT USED TO BE that only married
people lived together, now we have
domestic partners, significant others,
live-ins, room‑mates, and who knows
what all? What used to be called
"shacking up" has now been
legitimatised and in many parts of the
country is considered the norm.
IT USED TO BE that our young
ladies and young men understood that they
were to save themselves till marriage.
Being a virgin was an honor, something
that he or she could take pride in. The
fact that Mary, the Mother of Jesus, was a
virgin was not meant to imply in Scripture
that she was weird, unwanted, or ugly. The
angel saluted her and told her that she
was highly favored of the Lord. I believe
the same holds true for virgins today!
What will be the next taboo that will fall?
·
Incest?
·
Sex with children?
·
Rape?
·
Wife swapping?
Whose to say? Where do we draw the line and say
enough already? But just to be sure, that
line has already been drawn. God drew it
‑ and He hasn't changed His mind
either.
Friends, I want to call you to change the world,
rather then let the world change you.
Romans 12:2
